Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
