i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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