hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
