Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Randomize
