Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
