you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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