Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
