well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
