She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
