She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
