Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
