My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
