She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
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some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
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Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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