Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
My liver is preforming stress tests.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
