dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
