My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
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