HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
