oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
