okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
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I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
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I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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