Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Randomize
