its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
