I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
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if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
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... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
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