matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Randomize
