hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize