so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Randomize
