Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Randomize
