I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
