he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
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Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
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The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
how do you play pong handcuffed?
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
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