Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
