Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
