I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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