I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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