Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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