my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
