I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
