I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
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