don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
