there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
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