Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Randomize
