Are we in a gay sports bar?
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
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I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
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Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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