You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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