sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
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