Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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