After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
