I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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