New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
