What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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