Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
