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oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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