It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
