just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
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