ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
