So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
