DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Randomize
