Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
