Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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