making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
The best revenge is premature balding
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
