he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
