I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
