why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
