Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
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