my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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