Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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