is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Randomize
