yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
no you cant smoke seaweed
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
